Rodney Dangerfield Quotes About Drinking
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My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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