Joan Rivers Quotes About Motherhood
-
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
→ -
Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.
→ -
Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.
→ -
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'
→ -
My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.
→ -
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
→ -
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
→ -
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
→ -
And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.
→
Related Authors
-
Giuliana Rancic Television Personality -
Barbara Walters Journalist -
Carol Burnett Actress -
George Kotsiopoulos Magazine editor -
Joan Collins Actress -
Margaret Cho Comedian -
Donald Trump 45th President of the United States -
Philip Seymour Hoffman Actor -
Melissa Rivers Actress -
Phyllis Diller Comedienne -
Lena Dunham Filmmaker -
Bill Rancic Entrepreneur -
Michelle Obama Former First Lady of the United States -
Johnny Carson Host -
Don Rickles Comedian -
Kathy Griffin Actress -
Betty White Actress -
Joan of Arc Saint -
Kelly Osbourne Singer -
Lucille Ball Comedienne