Dilbert Quotes
The best sayings about Dilbert that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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The best things in life are silly.
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I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
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Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.
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Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.
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Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist. Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe. Dogbert: Sounds cultish.
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Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.
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Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
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Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.
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Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.
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Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.
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Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
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There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
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The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
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When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.
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Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
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