David Spade Quotes
-
I never dated much in high school or college.
→ -
I have no detectable hair style.
→ -
I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
→ -
My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
→ -
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.
→ -
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
→ -
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
→ -
I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
→ -
Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
→ -
Single guys get a bad rap.
→ -
I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.
→ -
Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
→ -
I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
→ -
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
→ -
How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?
→ -
To be famous and broke is hard.
→ -
I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
→ -
When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.
→ -
You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!
→ -
I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!
→ -
I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
→ -
Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
→ -
I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.
→ -
Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.
→ -
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
→ -
My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
→ -
Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I'll park a mile away I don't care. I'm just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it - you don't!
→ -
It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.
→ -
Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, "That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible."
→ -
It's brutal. I see friends when their shows don't work. Everything's riding on making money and all the pressure and how people scatter when fortunes turn downward.
→
Related Authors
-
Kevin James Actor -
Adhir Kalyan Actor -
Maria Bello Actress -
Dennis Dugan Actor -
Dana Carvey Actor -
Rob Schneider Actor -
Adam Sandler Actor -
Chris Farley Comedian -
Chris Rock Comedian -
Maya Rudolph Actress -
Megyn Price Actress -
Oliver Hudson Actor -
Tim Meadows Actor -
Patrick Warburton Actor -
Salma Hayek Film actress -
Steve Buscemi Actor -
Nick Swardson Actor -
Andy Samberg Actor -
Jon Lovitz Comedian -
Andy Spade Producer