W. C. Fields Quotes About Water
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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