Jay Leno Quotes About Study
-
A review of studies by physicians found that excessive exercise is bad for your heart. Another study says a daily serving of chocolate is actually good for your heart. That's got to make next year New Year's resolution easier to keep. "I'm going to exercise less. Eat a little more chocolate.
→ -
A new study shows that American students are becoming less proficient in science, and if the trend continues, we will become a nation that's science and chemistry illiterate. And you thought a lot of meth labs are blowing up now?
→ -
The Environmental Protection Agency is conducting a seven-hundred-thousand-dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans are in power. Pollution? It's those damn trees.
→ -
A new study shows that the child population in San Francisco is dwindling and in fact San Francisco has the smallest share of children of any major city in the United States. That's odd, huh? For some reason couples in San Francisco don't seem to be reproducing as much as couples in other cities. Gee, I wonder what the problem is there? You think it might be something in the Rice-A-Roni?
→ -
A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.
→ -
A new medical study reports that men who eat ten pizzas a week are less likely to develop prostate problems at age 50. That's because they are usually dead by age 40.
→ -
A new study says that over half of all Californians are obese. In fact, half of Californians are really two-thirds of Californians.
→ -
Studies show American students are becoming less proficient in math. Experts say we should have seen this coming, but nobody could put 2 and 2 together.
→ -
A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama's economic policy is also his climate change policy.
→ -
A new study finds that women use their whole brain when listening and men only use half of their brain. You see, men use the other half of their brain to come up with excuses. I don't think women use their whole brain when listening. I think they use half of it and the other half is used to memorize what men are saying so they can use it against them 10 years later!
→ -
According to a new study, 63% of men surveyed said they like to settle an argument by having sex. The other 37% of the men said they would never want to get into an argument with those men.
→ -
A New York doctor has finished a five year study on what smells have the biggest effect on New Yorkers. The smell New Yorkers like the most: vanilla. The smell New Yorkers like the least: New Jersey.
→ -
According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues.
→ -
According to a recent study, ten percent of 'Star Trek' fans meet the psychological criteria for addiction. Deprived of their favourite show, some Trekkies disply withdrawal symptoms similar to drug addicts. Of course, the real difference is that drug addicts aren't nearly as annoying.
→ -
If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star.
→ -
John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now, those that do not campaign well and are boring will end up stuck in the Senate.
→ -
According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map. However 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map.
→ -
A new study published by The British Medical Journal found that inactivity can kill you. I mean, these are the kind of findings that just scare the hell out of Congress.
→
Related Authors
-
Arsenio Hall Actor -
Conan O'Brien Talk show host -
Craig Ferguson Talk show host -
Mavis Leno Philanthropist -
Jeremy Clarkson Broadcaster -
Bill Cosby Comedian -
Stephen Colbert Satirist -
Tim Allen Comedian -
Adam Carolla Comedian -
David Letterman Talk show host -
Jimmy Fallon Television host -
Bill Maher Comedian -
Jerry Seinfeld Comedian -
Ellen DeGeneres Comedian -
Jon Stewart Satirist -
Johnny Carson Host -
Don Rickles Comedian -
Larry King Radio host -
Steve Martin Actor -
Joan Rivers Television Personality