Josh Billings Quotes About Comedy
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Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
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One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
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Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
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There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they actually can't tell the truth without lying.
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Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
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The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
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I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
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There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
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One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
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There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.
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About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
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Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
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There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
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The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
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Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
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When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
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There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
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There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.
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It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
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No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
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It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
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Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
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Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
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There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
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I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
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Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
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Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.
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It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
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