Jeff Foxworthy Quotes About House
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You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth! Here's your Sign!
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I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
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You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
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Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.
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I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
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