Frank Muir Quotes
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The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.
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Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.
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The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I'm just going to say a few words.
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Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
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The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat
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Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.
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A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.
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It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.
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Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.
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