Bo Burnham Quotes About Funny
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how do we fix Africa?'
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I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?
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Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
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What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.
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Where are all the sour patch parents?
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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