Christopher Titus Quotes About Philosophy
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Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.
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Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
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No problem is so big and difficult that it can't be blamed on somebody else.
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Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
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The government favors the most diplomatic language. That's why any letter to them should always start with, "Dear turkeys and foul maggots..."
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Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
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God bless America. But God, please help Canada.
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Born free. Taxed to death.
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Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
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We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.
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Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
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If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
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