Chelsea Handler Quotes About Dating

• Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

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• When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

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• My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.

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  Chelsea Handler

  "Chelsea Handler Mocks Taylor Swift: Talk Show Host Jokes Singer Is A Virgin On ‘Watch What Happens Live’". www.huffingtonpost.com. March 7, 2013.

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• The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.

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• I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

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  Chelsea Handler

  Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.63, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

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• According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.

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