Bill Maher Quotes About Home
-
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.
→ -
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
→ -
I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.
→ -
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
→ -
That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.
→ -
Sarah Palin has already had an effect on foreign relations... The new president of Pakistan, Ali Zardari, is in hot water, because last week, Sarah was on a class trip to New York, where she met foreign leaders... And one of the leaders she met was Zardari, and he was gushing over her. He said, oh, you're more gorgeous in person than you are on TV. And so the people in his home country of Pakistan, the Islamists, they issued a fatwa on him, for being too 'flirty.' And when Sarah today was told that Zardari had gotten a fatwa because of her, she said, 'I know, I felt it when he hugged me.'
→ -
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he'd have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
→ -
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It's kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald's and not eat the fries on the way home.
→
Related Authors
-
Ann Coulter Commentator -
Richard Dawkins Ethologist -
Stephen Colbert Satirist -
Reza Aslan Writer -
Donald Trump 45th President of the United States -
Seth MacFarlane Actor -
John Oliver Comedian -
Trevor Noah Comedian -
Bernie Sanders United States Senator -
Jimmy Fallon Television host -
Michael Moore Filmmaker -
Sam Harris Author -
Jerry Seinfeld Comedian -
Arianna Huffington Author -
Jon Stewart Satirist -
Ben Affleck Actor -
Jay Leno Comedian -
Nancy Pelosi Minority Leader of the United States House of Representatives -
Rachel Maddow Host