Bill Hicks Quotes About Jesus
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People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'
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I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it. I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
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People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?
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I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks ... you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
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Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
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How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now I wonder why we're f-ked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the f-king book.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
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I think it's interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice sentiment, but do you think when Jesus comes back, he's really going to want to look at a cross?
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